Friday, May 4, 2012

Five Years.

Who is that girl in the first photo? Well, folks I think it was me....I think. Sometimes I browse blogs and see people's before and after pictures and start browsing through my own photos to see how far I have come. I must say the transformations that have occurred were NOT planned, but I am certainly glad they happened now. That girl in the first photo was smart. She was attractive. She was confident. Sometimes. She also didn't know what the hell she was doing. I think the girl in the second photo is all of those things as well (she especially does not know what she's doing :p), so what's the difference? Does the girl in the first photo look happy? I don't think she does. She had good times and good people and accomplishments, but she was missing something. She was not comfortable with who she was. She might have had an itty bitty stick up her ass. Just sayin'. That girl was not open to try new things. She was afraid of sweet potatoes. She came home from school at 3 and slept for hours BEFORE bedtime. She didn't move around. She did not have someone in her life she was not afraid to be everything she is in front of. That girl never thought she would happen upon a boy who loved her. That girl never thought she would be able to run more than a minute without becoming winded. That girl was me, then. But look at that next photo-That girl is happy! There is no mistaking that. She has tough times. She has the occasional breakdown when everything is just too much. But she makes it through. She gets a little stronger every week. She is a little bit more enlightened. She is open to new ideas. She gets outraged at social injustice. She can write a kick-ass essay and bust out some regression analyses. She isn't afraid to say what she thinks. She does not get nervous around new people (most of the time). She is not constantly worried that everyone will hate her. That girl can run 6 miles. She knows when she makes mistakes and she can admit when she is wrong ( again, mostly). She is sassy and she can be hateful. But she is loving and loyal. I am not perfect and I won't ever be, but I have made myself into a person I am proud to be.